he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
