Texts From Last Night

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  (806): View more from Texas

  How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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  (806): How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her? http://tfl.nu/a3s8
  Replies (78) Good night (518) Bad night (7498) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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  (780): i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least. http://tfl.nu/btfu
  Replies (29) Good night (716) Bad night (2336)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.

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  (864): Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common. http://tfl.nu/z1qj
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (3212) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober

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  (403): i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober http://tfl.nu/y1xh
  Replies (28) Good night (1018) Bad night (3786) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'

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  (913): Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered' http://tfl.nu/kmmk
  Replies (16) Good night (4443) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We've got ourselves a situation

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  (614): Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and.... (614): We've got ourselves a situation http://tfl.nu/efwe
  Replies (51) Good night (7041) Bad night (637)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up

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  (785): i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up http://tfl.nu/4wl0
  Replies (10) Good night (4651) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1309) Bad night (4788) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.

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  (785): It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired. http://tfl.nu/t1fn
  Replies (9) Good night (3138) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.

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  (530): I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time. http://tfl.nu/t4yt
  Replies (16) Good night (2280) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party

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  (860): hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party http://tfl.nu/8e30
  Replies (2) Good night (1969) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.

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  (941): Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil. http://tfl.nu/r5gy
  Replies (1) Good night (1830) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  No idea. And yes be here at 4

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  (801): Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding? (309): No idea. And yes be here at 4 http://tfl.nu/o72l
  Replies (10) Good night (1973) Bad night (445)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.

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  (908): ....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle. http://tfl.nu/zsd1
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...

  (512): View more from Texas

  This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.

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  (512): Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it (1-512): We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream... (512): This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life. http://tfl.nu/ar28
  Replies (5) Good night (2567) Bad night (314)

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