Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
