So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
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You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
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So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just forgot I was standing up.