It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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