You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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