i may or may not be watching the land before time
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
