I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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