We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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