Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
