wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
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Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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