If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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