Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
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I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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