Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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