We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
