I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize