I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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