At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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