I need help removing her.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
