he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You had me at "let me see your balls"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
