Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
