I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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