Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
