The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
