And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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