I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You made out with two different species that night
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
