One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
