Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
