Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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