He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I want her autograph on my taint
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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