this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
