I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
