My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize