wanna go halves on a baby?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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