everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
