He kissed a someone with a penis
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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