Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize