My room smells like vodka and shame
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
