What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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