please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
