I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
