I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
