i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
