fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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