This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Boobs are out for the taking
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
