So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
