I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
