I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize