Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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