Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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