whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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