True but thats because hes a fetus.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
