what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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