So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
