I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
