Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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