Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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