That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
