girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize