Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
