His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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