Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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