The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
